I finally got to it after much hesitation. Can you guess why?
This sequel might as well been entitled “7 years later”. It seems that my personal clock is set on big moves that alter my life drastically, not always tragically but certainly in a way that expands my horizon and bring new breadth and the chance to start a fresh new beginning, to learn new useful skills that help me navigate this tough and dangerous world. I wonder how I was able to survive until now if it had not been for the love of God and his providential hand.
1995 was rough year for me personally. My mother living in France had an accident in her apartment and needed to be under care in a retirement home. I felt bad to let my elder brother who took care of her since she was living in Montpellier in Southern France and he in Paris.
When I was in a catholic boarding school at the tender age of seven, I didn´t miss one occasion to thank my mother profusely for all the dedication and loving care she showed us four boys. So I could not wait for Mother´s day to come so I could prepare a nice card to prove that I was capable of showing the filial gratitude that I genuily felt for all the years of being away from my family. Especially missing the times we did to spend together as often as we could to make up for all months we were apart.
One of the Leit Motiv in my life was my desire to show her all the love I could express when I was writing the cards so as to seal forever in my mind why I sounded so melodramatic at the anticipationI imagined she was feeling when she would read the forever promises of eternal gratitude and love a 7 year old could muster to compensate for all the bad behavior he showed while back home and the bad grades he brought to display the lack of gratitude in exchange for all the wonderful things my parents did for me and my brothers.
I could not understand all the reasons they had to keep us separated from the country we loved, from our friends, at that precious young age when one still has not yet formed the undertanding that comes with the maturaity and wisdom acquired later in life when adults expect that someone else will teach learn young boys and girls have to deal with their rough and tough environment. A heavy load of guilt added to the psychological problems and melancholy nature that had built up along my formative years.
I just could not understand why my parents sent me to a foreign land across the sea where I felt rejected by my peers and the very religious figures that were supposed to show me the love of Jesus and the exemple of a life dedicated to service of God and other needy people around the world. I had to be confronted by the severe and real lessons of life that can make or brake the most basic relationships.
A young heart and mind are not prepared to fight back and stop the bullies of this world. That was the conclusion I had reached when confronted with the pain and suffering that was my lot in life. It pushed me to become sulky, rancourous and vengeful in times of despair and with the inability to control my reactions.
So here it is after many years of learning, trying and failing again. In spite of the rough terrain in front of us, I can see that there is hope in this world for those who while being afraid of the unknown can trust in God and know deep inside that there is redemption for the human race and life in a wonderful dimension that is awaitng us that will surprise us with more than we can imagine or dream of as the Word of God says.
All we need is to share the deep and durable lessons we have learned in this life that we experienced so we may pass it on to someone who need a touch from the living God as he has graciously brought us in contact in the most miraculous way, even if at the itme we didn´t even think that it would be possible because we did not think ourself worthy of such love.
One of the most helpful passages in the Old Testament is found in Joshua 3:5. “ But keep a distance of about two thousand cubit between yourselves and the ark. Do not go near it, so that you can see the way to go, since you have never traveled this way before.” You might ask: How can a man know his way if he has never been there before?
This
is the wonderful work of our gracious God and Father. his Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
The only thing that keeps you from taking the first step of faith toward being a new creation with a new abundant life is yourself. But there is hope.
"1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification. 3 For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.
4 For
whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our
learning, that we through patience
and comfort
of the scriptures might have hope." Romans 15:1-4.
Hope is what you and everyone needs.
Context
The
Faith of Abel, Enoch, Noah
…5By faith Enoch was taken up so
that he did not see death: “He could not be found, because God had
taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one
who pleased God. 6And
without faith
it is impossible to
please God, because
anyone who
approaches Him
must believe
that He
exists and that
He rewards those
who earnestly seek
Him.
7By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in godly fear
built an ark to save his family. By faith he condemned the world and
became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith. Hebrews 11:6.
So my friends, here we are. Will you seek him while you can. Fear, shame and guilt are the real enemies of your soul keeping you prisoners unable to free yourself from their grip. It´s up to you.
Nobody else can make that decision for you.
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