We got you covered.
Reflections on Security.
Posted by: Jean-Louis at http://thelightseed.blogspot.com in response to a post on church covering/shepherding/spiritual abuse found in charismatic authoritarian movements
- Minimum Security.
Comes in all colors, sizes and prices.
For older antique models, guaranteed status recognition!
Guaranteed to fade, rust and attract moths.
Optional 3D rose colored glasses for optimum happiness perspective enhancement.
Built-in obsolescence guaranteed due to the law of diminishing returns.
Warning! Can be torn, lost, stolen, or misplaced causing sudden panic attacks.
- Maximum Security.
(Disclaimer: No other intention than to provide illustration for humor)
Inner and outer warm fuzzies special patented treatment guaranteed to go down to your toes and let you enjoy free jumping exhilaration.
Pogo stick optional ( interpretation: We stick it to you with an x-treme fee, I mean donation) for higher elevation level.
Your kid will love it - See Mama- no hands.
Let us wrap you with our latest protective garment.
Unisex. One size fits all. Waterproof. Fireproof, Beyondproof and/or reproof.
Just open your arms, close your eyes and feel the divine presence enveloping you. Our highly trained coaches will gently slide the comforting, healing jacket in an embrace of love. Guaranteed to provide total freedom as you finally experience wholeness in our restoration conferences therapy groups. Let us handle all your cares and needs. Trust us, You have our word for it.
Lord Jesus´ Glorious Light
Free Garment. A gift from you Heavenly Father, whose price has been paid for your sins by His son Jesus Christ on the cross.
Guaranteed to last forever by the promise found in the Word of God: Isaiah 61:10; Ephesians 1:11-14. Ephesians 4:30; II Corinthians 5:5.
Cannot be bought, lost, borrowed, stolen, given away, torn.
Protective armor of light Romans 13:12. Guaranteed darkness repellent.